• Crying Woman
A crying woman runs into the police station with all her clothes ripped and her hair everywhere,
and says "Officer, I`ve just been graped"
The policeman says "Don’t you mean raped, miss?"
The woman says, "No I mean graped, there was a bunch of them"
•Duck
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the duck that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes.
The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes,
has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes.
The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything,
the bartender begins to yell: "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes!
If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"
Confused, the bartender says no.
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: Breathe! Breathe!
Q: Why aren't grapes ever lonely?
A: Because they come in bunches!
Q: What did the grape say when he got stepped on?
A: He let out a little wine.
Q: If white wine goes with fish, what do white grapes go with?
A: Sushi!
Q: What did one grape say to another?
A: You've got appeal in bunches!
Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
A: Because he ran out of juice.
•“Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them
and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.”
•The Farmer’s Daughter
One day two buddies with car troubles and no place to stay happened upon a farm house and decided
to ask to stay the night. They knocked at the door and an old farmer answered. The two buddies asked
could they stay the one night with which the old man replied “Yes, but you can’t touch me daughter’.
So they stayed, but ignored the old man’s request and made love to his 18 year old daughter.
The old man found out and the next day he asked the two buddies to go out into the fields and bring
back their favorite fruit. So they did so. The first guy came back with ten grapes. The old man said
“I know you and your friend touched my daughter and now you’re gonna pay.”
The old man grabbed the ten grapes and stuck them up the guy’s butt. The poor guy was screaming,
but then started laughing. The old man said, “Why are you laughing when I just stuffed ten grapes up your butt!”
The guy said, “It’s that my friend is out there getting a watermelon!”
A crying woman runs into the police station with all her clothes ripped and her hair everywhere,
and says "Officer, I`ve just been graped"
The policeman says "Don’t you mean raped, miss?"
The woman says, "No I mean graped, there was a bunch of them"
•Duck
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the duck that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes.
The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes,
has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes.
The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything,
the bartender begins to yell: "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes!
If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"
Confused, the bartender says no.
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: Breathe! Breathe!
Q: Why aren't grapes ever lonely?
A: Because they come in bunches!
Q: What did the grape say when he got stepped on?
A: He let out a little wine.
Q: If white wine goes with fish, what do white grapes go with?
A: Sushi!
Q: What did one grape say to another?
A: You've got appeal in bunches!
Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
A: Because he ran out of juice.
•“Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them
and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.”
•The Farmer’s Daughter
One day two buddies with car troubles and no place to stay happened upon a farm house and decided
to ask to stay the night. They knocked at the door and an old farmer answered. The two buddies asked
could they stay the one night with which the old man replied “Yes, but you can’t touch me daughter’.
So they stayed, but ignored the old man’s request and made love to his 18 year old daughter.
The old man found out and the next day he asked the two buddies to go out into the fields and bring
back their favorite fruit. So they did so. The first guy came back with ten grapes. The old man said
“I know you and your friend touched my daughter and now you’re gonna pay.”
The old man grabbed the ten grapes and stuck them up the guy’s butt. The poor guy was screaming,
but then started laughing. The old man said, “Why are you laughing when I just stuffed ten grapes up your butt!”
The guy said, “It’s that my friend is out there getting a watermelon!”
Grape Stomping Gone Wrong and Parody
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Disclaimer:
If any of the following feet resemble your own, you may not be permitted to stomp our grapes.
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